You Suck As A Roommate, Here's 13 Reasons Why ⋆ College Magazine

When you sign up to live with random people, sometimes it doesn’t work out. For those of you wondering why your roommate secretly uses your toothbrush to clean the toilet with, here's some reasons why.

1. You apologize too often

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Unless you're Canadian, you don't need to keep saying “I’m sorry,” or “Dude, I didn’t know that was yours.” You don't need to apologize every time you see them. Just drink their Red Bull and blame it on the international student like everyone else.

2. Your side is the dirty side

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To all messy roommates: your neat-freak roommate does not like your side being dirty. If his side can be spotless, why can’t yours? Which brings me to reason #3.

3. That funk is from you

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This goes ~~double~~ triple for you if the CDC has to cordon off your room with hazard tape. Those musty gym clothes aren’t going to wash themselves. And how did they even get like that? You don't even work out!

4. Your roommate leaves when you come into the room

(Via 5. There’s a lot of awkward silence in your room

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This may happen because you two do not have much in common, but it also may happen because of that incident last night when you silently agreed on never talking again. Ever.

6. You use your roommate’s things more than your own

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Everything went fine that time you used their coffee maker and TV when they weren't there, but you may have crossed the line when you lost your toothbrush and borrowed theirs. Of course, they may never find out, but that doesn't make you any less of a shitty roommate.

7. You’re a clumsy night owl

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Whether you went out or just had studying to do, it's bad form to wake up your roommate by accidentally breaking their lamp after crashing into every possible object in the room. The only thing worse is crawling into bed with them in a drunken haze.

8. Your roommate avoids talking to you about touchy issues

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Sometimes talking about “taboo” issues can inspire a good conversation that allows you to learn more about each other. Other times, it can result in you and your roommate not talking for days. If this happens, I’d suggest either not making it a habit or maybe tabling that discussion about the artistic merits of tentacle porn.

9. You’re aggressive to your quiet roommate

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If you disagree with your roommate, try not to bring out that intimidating side of your personality in order to settle things. Having a freaked out roommate is not good. Neither is a restraining order, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. .

10. You’re an obnoxious fan

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If you and your roommate root for rival teams, you don’t have to scream, "touchdown, motherf*cker!" in his face after every, er, touchdown no matter how badly his team sucks. Bring up victories sparingly, if at all.

11. You snore like a wood chipper

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This may be something you cannot control, but you should still attempt to cure the problem if possible. At least give the impression that you’re trying to let your roommate sleep, not snoring on purpose so he one day decides to take matters into his own hands by pinching your nose shut so you stop breathing altogether.

12. Your favorite TV show runs past midnight

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While we’re on the subject of preventing sleep, you shouldn’t have the TV on too loud (or at all) while your roommate is asleep. Use headphones or at least offer them earplugs. Don't be a twat.

13. Your roommate tells you that you’re a bad roommate