College teaches us plenty of things about life: how to sleep as little as possible, how to neglect our responsibilities, and how to avoid the future. It also–at the very least–teaches you a whole new shiny vocabulary to spruce up your papers and conversations.
1. Matriculate
This is a great word to learn. Welcome to college, kiddos.
2. Lurid
You reach this lovely shade of pale after weeks locked in the library during finals. What is the sun?
3. Extrapolate
Just keep on extrapolating until you hit that magical page count.
4. Formidable
Your art history final. Your other four finals.
5. Articulate
Only sometimes.
6. Arduous
Like the tough task of waking up for 9 a.m. classes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
7. Pedantic
Like your professors who require that you print your assignments on a specific shade and thickness of paper.
8. Machiavellian
Actually I don’t think any of us know exactly how to define this.
9. Squalid
Your living conditions.
10. Finagle
What you do to get the side of the room with the window. Sorry, roomie.
11. Mercurial
Ah, lovely college mood swings.
12. Nefarious
The boys you meet at parties.
13. Carpe Diem
The gentleman’s YOLO.
14. Harbinger
Bad news is always coming in the form of grades.
15. Ennui
You feel this every time you realize you have no future job prospects. At all.
16. Eclectic
A perfect word for that strange mix of falling-apart furniture you brought to school for your off campus apartment.
17. 401K
Wait, what?
18. Misnomer
Maybe someone told you college would be easy. This is the biggest misnomer on the planet.
19. Unrequited
Just like the love you have for your coffee-only diet. You may love it, but it certainly doesn’t love you back. Same with the third floor RA.
20. Esoteric
Basically every higher-level college class. Only a few people truly care.
21. Ambivalent
Or, your thoughts on dining hall food.
22. Bravado
The mating call of college bros everywhere.
23. Clandestine
Your dance style? Your love life?
24. Existential
All those weird late-night freshman year conversations.
25. Deviate
As in Calculus or as in that one time you actually managed to finish your assignment more than an hour before class.
26. Requisite
All of the classes you end up hating and spending way too much time on.
27. Ubiquitous
Cheap beer at parties.
28. Diatribe
College students have intensely strong opinions. They like to yell them late on weekends.
29. Untenable
Your health.
30. Bankruptcy
Inevitable.
31. Exacerbate
What you do to your problems when you try to fix things.
32. Tenuous
Like your grasp on your sanity.
33. Tax rebate
College students are broke. This word makes you sound smart, but also encourages rich Uncle X to slip you a few dollar bills at the Christmas party.
34. Ostentatious
The disturbing display of finery that is the Under Armour sweatshirt section of the bookstore.
35. Succinct
“Yes, mom. I’m fine, mom. Love you, too. Bye.”
36. Hence
Just say it instead of “then” or “so” all the time. Instant IQ points.
37. Vitriolic
The kind of relationship you had with your freshman year roommate.
38. Accolade
You’re waiting (and waiting, and waiting) to receive all of these for your hard work in your classes. Maybe someday.
39. Paradoxical
Like how our love of late nights somehow coexists with our love of sleep.
40. Geopolitical
Conflicts like these happen daily between your super-tidy roommate and you, the roommate whose dirty clothes piles seem to be growing some kind of spore.
41. Hyperbole
“Professor I need an extension because my entire apartment flooded and I lost all my belongings including all of my books and my laptop.” Reality: there is a small leak.
42. Imbibe
Just water, kids.
43. Placate
…your mom when you forget to call for two weeks.
44. Rhetoric
The kind of language you learn to sound fake-smart in class discussions.
45. Ramification
You avoid these at all costs.
46. Libation
We know plenty about that.
47. Prolific
The Netflix selections!
48. Psyche
This slowly becomes more and more unhealthy as the semester goes on.
49. Acumen
Good decision making skills? None of us actually have this. No real good decisions are made in college.
50. Commencement
Nah, that one can hold off for a while.
If all else fails, you don’t actually have to know the definitions of any of these words. You just have to know how to pronounce them. Fake it until you make it: the motto of college students everywhere.
