Who needs the NFL, NBA or NHL when you can follow the GOP election trail? Between Rick Perry’s legendary oops and Herman Cain’s existence, the field of prospective Republican presidential candidates has been more entertaining than the past two seasons of Glee. With the Iowa primary in the rearview mirror and New Hampshire approaching, let’s see how some of the biggest names in this race have been trying to woo the young people of America:
E Pluribus Santorum
As a resident of Western Pennsylvania – he’s from Mt. Lebanon, Pittsburgh and was a Pa. senator – I was content with Rick Santorum and his borderline dangerous conservatism being our dirty little secret. Now that videos of him saying he doesn’t want to improve the lives of black people have gone viral, it looks like the cat’s out of the bag. Everyone now knows that, as the Capitol Steps put it, Santorum will “proudly lead America except the part that’s gay.”
Santorum took some major flak from disgruntled young men and women at the College Convention in Concord, New Hampshire last Thursday. The results were classic.
Check out his response to a young, presumably liberal, woman asking him about his views on same-sex marriage: “If it makes three people happy to get married, based on what you just said, what makes that wrong and what you said right?”
Yes, Rick Santorum just compared gay marriage to polygamy. Did he really think this was going to help him win college votes in New Hampshire, a state known for its left leaning?
“I always try to give kids the opportunity [to speak],” said Santorum at the convention. “I’m trying to. I sort of always look, when you’re with kids, to try to engage them and try to get them thinking about why they’re thinking the way they’re thinking.”
Rick, college students are notorious for being blindly passionate. Judging by the many inane arguments I have with my friends every day that end up going nowhere, chances are you’ll never convince any of us to change our political views. Go back to what you’re good at: evading questions and enraging minorities.
The Romney Bunch
While Santorum does everything in his power to alienate young voters, Mitt Romney has inadvertently earned himself some young female admirers. No, it’s not his idea on how to fix the economy that has them hot and bothered; it’s his four handsome sons.
Yahoo! News’ Chris Moody interviewed some young women attending an event at Valley High School in Iowa a week ago and found that they were most impressed with Josh, Matt, Craig, and Tagg Romney, calling them “yummy” and ogling them like the pieces of campaign meat they are.
Actually, Santorum got some love here too. One girl said “he’s kind of hot,” though another said his sweater vest “makes him look a little chunky.” I think that’s the closest Santorum is going to get to a compliment until his campaign is over.
The best part of all this: these girls were there to see Ron Paul speak. “He’s got his glasses on…Like a BOSS,” one girl gushed. Another girl was afraid Paul had the potential to die at any second. A fair concern.
So what have we learned here? To be blunt: sex sells. Well, at least among the teenage girl crowd. If Jon Huntsman had been smart, his daughters would have gotten more attention than Kate and Pippa Middleton combined. Oh well, there’s always 2016.
