Yesterday, CM’s dating editor Leana Rivera assured female kind that it takes more to be a tease than just saying no. Allow me to clarify what it really means to be a tease:
Leana did a great job of defining what it means to NOT be a tease. I totally agree with her assertion that there is a huge difference between leading a guy/girl on and picking wisely. Sometimes, he/she’s just not that into you.
But make no mistake: there are teases out there. And you need to get through TEAS101 with at least a C+ to recognize the signs that the person you’re into might be messing with your head.
I say “person†because both sexes are equally guilty of playing this game of overzealous cat and crafty (or clueless) mouse. Whether the person knows they’re doing it or not, it’s still misleading. Here a few signs that the guy or girl you’re with might be a tease:
Male Teases
The Nice Guy Routine: As a self-described “nice guy†myself, I know this one well. As much as girls say they’re attracted to the bad boy, we all know that deep down what they want is the guy who treats them well and is receptive to their needs. When you’re just being nice, she could be getting attached. So, guy best friends: the next time you go out of the way to drive her to class, remember that you might inadvertently be sending the wrong message.
Friends With Benefits: As Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake proved, this never works. As in, there has never been a case in the history of mankind where this type of relationship lasted. This can go either way, but I feel like – based on female genetic tendencies – the girl is the one most likely to get hurt in this scenario. The best thing to do is just to avoid this situation altogether
Barney Stinsons: If there’s one thing Barney’s antics on How I Met Your Mother have proven, it’s that women generally aren’t a fan of his bro code lifestyle. If you find yourself falling for a player (especially one with a playbook), know that chances are you’re not going to tame him. Unless your name is Robin Scherbatsky.
Female Teases
The Flirty Girl: Some girls just have a naturally flirty personality. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it can lead to some awkward situations involving innocent young men who mistake friendliness for interest. This goes especially for touchy-feely girls. If you’re constantly squeezing his arm or hugging him, don’t be surprised if he gets the wrong idea.
Hit It And Quit It: Most guys will respect a girl’s boundaries (minus the stupid jerks). If she says no, and the guy isn’t too drunk to forget English, that’ll usually be the end of it. But if you start fooling around with a guy and then leave him high and dry (literally) with a BS excuse like “I have to go find my friends,†that’s the definition of a tease.
The Showoff: I’ve already discussed the evils of slut shaming this week, but that doesn’t mean girls have zero responsibilities when it comes to how they represent themselves. There has to be a middle ground between nun and this. Obviously guys shouldn’t assume anything about a girl based on what she’s wearing. But, as Dave Chappelle said on the subject: “Ladies, you have to understand, that’s f***ing confusing.â€
