Social media makes FOMO, or “fear of missing out,” unavoidable. One minute you’re scrolling through your newsfeed or tapping through Snapchat stories and the next you’re pulling on a pair of real pants and wiping the Cheetos dust off your fingers because someone posted a jealousy-inducing update. These 10 events at Iowa will spam your newsfeed with pictures and videos that make you want to drop everything and join the party.
1. Dancing with Myself
Event: Dance Marathon
We know you wanted to raise money and dance FTK, but circumstances out of your control prevented you from attending the Big Event with everyone else and their mother. You might want to avoid social media for 24 hours (or more) if you suffer from FOMO; the lime green of this philanthropy will be smeared across your news feed for days. And wouldn’t it? Those attending have 24 hours of like-worthy material like happy tears of the families helped to hilariously-choreographed dance numbers to secretly-loving-it complaints about aching feet.
Social Media to Avoid: Twitter–Everyone live tweets the 24-hour party that you’re not attending.
2. Home Alone During Homecoming
Event: Homecoming game
The homecoming game definitely ruffles some Hawk feathers, and Hawkeye pride will be loud and proud for the week leading up to the game, and especially on game day. If you were brushing up on your trash-talk game all year in preparation and found out you couldn’t attend, your black game day gear may feel more like funeral wear for your dead social life. If your friends are nice, they’ll lie and tell you the game was lame and they left before halftime anyway.
Social Media to Avoid: Instagram–Everyone posts their best, most hardcore black and gold #OOTDs
3. F–k State? F–k FOMO.
Event: Iowa State game
You’ll be able to hear a faint chorus of “F–k State” from all over Hawkeye Nation during this game. You can join in from wherever you’re held up, but nothing compares to being among the intermingling crowds of Hawkeyes and Cyclones. You’ll miss the burning hatred, the forbidden romances and friendships and the one day a year where Hawkeyes and Cyclones come together to party and play.
Social Media to Avoid: Facebook–Iowa students post trash-talk on all their Iowa State frenemies’ walls
4. Kicking Myself for Not Going
Event: Kickoff
Returning home to Kinnick ignites all of the senses: the sight of pulsing crowds of black and gold, the sound of the opening chords of Back in Black, the taste of overpriced stadium hot dogs and beer, the feeling of your friends’ shoulders sandwiching you in to the packed bleachers and the scent of vomit from someone who should have left the tailgate earlier. At least your white Converse will survive, and your liver will thank you for not destroying it with cheap vodka.
Social Media to Avoid: Snapchat-Get ready to tap through dozens of stories featuring a wide shot of Kinnick and the caption, “Happy to be back.”
5. Who let the dogs out (without me)?
Event: Therapy dogs during finals week
Dreams really do come true: Dogs really do come to our school. Missing out on this event means missing out on free puppy kisses and cuddles that alleviate your finals stress. While you’re hitting the books, everyone else is petting the pups.
Social Media to Avoid: Snapchat–while one hand pets a pup, the other snaps (probably with the dog filter)
6. Bar none–except me
Event: Senior bar crawl
Between undergrad and alumni exists the magic that is the senior bar crawl, where seniors can act like freshmen and freshmen are left the clean up after the mess. Some seniors may never again party in IC, so they do their best to make this last night count. Though we rarely want to be in a senior’s sensible, job-interview appropriate shoes, the senior bar crawl makes us wish we underclassmen were graduating.
Social Media to Avoid: Facebook–you’ll see everyone who clicked “going” on the event.
7. GDIFOMO
Event: Greek Week
Think of Greek Week as Spirit Week exclusively for Greeks. Looking in from the outside as a GDI makes for a FOMO-filled week. From obstacle courses and relay races to silly skits and dances, all wrapped up in intense competition, Greek Week leaves you longing for letters.
Social Media to Avoid: Instagram–Group pics of pairings and matching hashtags will run rampant.
8. Shouting about my FOMO
Event: Iowa Shout
Your favorite Greek houses, plus Dance Marathon and another special guest, dressed up in silly costumes, dancing like there’s no one watching (even though everyone is watching), and playing bomb remixes of your favorite songs. What could be better? Iowa Shout is not only for Greeks to watch though. GDIs can laugh along with everyone else.
Social Media to Avoid: Snapchat–Everyone snaps their friends delivering lines like a fourth grade play and dancing like a dad.
9. Wake me up when the concert ends
Event: Homecoming concert
This year, Simple Plan threw us back to the early 2000s. The Homecoming Concert transforms campus into an amphitheater, and you’ll be transformed into a social hermit if you can’t swap stories about it on Monday.
Social Media to Avoid: Snapchat–Because people still think concert snaps are okay.
10. Frosh Have More Fun
Event: Taking the On Iowa class picture
On Iowa fills your brain with the not-so-fun aspects of your freshman year–how to email professors, sexual assault seminars and class registration–before giving you the chance to stand on Kinnick’s field. When you all form a giant ‘I’ in the middle of the field for your class picture, you’ll never feel as close to your class.
Social Media to Avoid: Instagram–everyone in their matching shirts reminds you of your freshman year.
