Doing online school, let alone online college, undoubtedly feels like the weirdest and most stressful point of my academic career. My family proved a great help in all this chaos, but there’s only so much they can do since I am a first-generation college student.
I found myself slowly letting the anxiety of school get to me as I spent half of my time looking at my computer and putting my energy into typing the day away.
Never once did I think looking at my computer would bring me such sorrow, but I finally reached that moment after I experienced the worst writer’s block of my entire academic career.
I felt lonely as I reached the thought that maybe I was just not good enough for college. I wrote dozens of essays and critical analysis pieces in high school. Why did I feel this way now?
I could only come up with what seemed like a logical explanation: maybe attending a four year university wasn’t the correct path for me.
The anxiety of college can feel a bit overwhelming, especially for a newbie in a pandemic.
Being the first in my family to ever have these experiences, I felt stuck with the thought that I was a failure for not finding my way out of this situation on my own. And the only thing I did after countless minutes thinking about my fate in college? What I do best–I watched a movie.
Films have often been an outlet for me to allow some ease into my life during trying times. There’s something about watching a completely fictional narrative that can allow yourself to be more optimistic about your own reality. In order to drown out some of the rising anxiety I was experiencing, I decided to watch a mixture of romantic comedies and coming of age stories.
I found that as I watched these films, I allowed myself to enjoy what I was witnessing without any demands or pressures shrouding my view.
Unfortunately, most good things (like a good film) must come to a conclusion – or do they?
Eventually the film ended… and so did my free time.
As I returned to my regularly scheduled work, I figured it would feel more difficult to focus after carelessly spending hours sitting and doing absolutely nothing. To my surprise, I returned to my work livelier and more energetic, ready for the tasks I was unsure of doing before. I realized that these films gave me a sense of optimism. If the characters in the story could overcome their obstacles as the average person, then maybe I could overcome my own. I recommended this film antidote to my friends and lucky enough, this approach also seemed to work for them.
In a world majorly reliant on technology, there’s much more ease when trying to access any movie or art form one could be interested in exploring. Multiple genres exist out there for everyone with almost zero struggle in finding what appeals to you and your emotions.
Though sometimes there comes a guilt when taking time for yourself with such a jam-packed schedule, mental health should remain a priority along with school. Film should be taken as a serious option when considering ways to relieve oneself from the expected pressures of responsibilities. Even just taking a maximum of two hours out of your day can change you for the better.
