Ghosts, demons, zombies and chemistry professors might seem like the most scary thing in your life. But one thing should frighten you more than made up monsters. Imagine if all your friends graduated and left you. Alone. If most of your friends happen to be older than you, start dreaming and hoping their graduation date gets pushed back a few months.
My friends will all graduate in May. They keep me going through the trials and tribulations of Tinder matches and all-nighters. I look forward to the late night runs to Dominos, the fights started because of fantasy football and the pictures taken at parties that enshrine lifetime memories. I get ill every time I think about not seeing the people that make me, me. If you feel the same way, realize you’re not alone. We can find a way, together, to handle this.
Don’t Panic, But Also Panic
New friends await you! Things will look up soon. Then again, your new friends won’t understand the “yellow eggplant” inside joke. And they probably won’t want to drive to Walmart at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason.
Ok, time to lose it. Thinking about all of the memories you and your friends created thus far, you can’t fathom not making more. Curling yourself into the fetal position probably seems to be the most acceptable response to the situation at hand. However, you should probably take a chill pill after you finishing crying for two days straight. But at the end of the day, you have to remember that true friends never leave you. You’ll still have group chats, random meet-ups and everything in between. Your friends will be your friends through thick and thin, no matter the mileage that separates you from one another.
Operation: Hang Out as Much As Possible
You know what’s better than hanging out with your friends? Hanging out with them all the time! Make the most of the time you have left remaining before they inevitably turn to the tassel of doom. You need to bug them all hours of the day and night to get the utter most out of the remaining days with your best buds. Doing laundry? Go help them fold their underwear. Sleeping? Take a nap with them. On their one-year anniversary with their significant other at a very nice restaurant? Third wheel! Become the nuisance you know you want to become, because one day in the near future there won’t be any time left to binge watch Friends all night and eat an entire packs of Oreos.
Brace for the Inevitable
One day, Father Time will win this uphill battle and hand your best friends their diplomas, leaving you on standby for another year. Soon after, you wake up and can’t hit up the group chat for Happy Hour plans. One day, you’ll be without your family away from your family. It sucks to even write about, but I know my friends will soon be on to bigger and better things, creating the path of their lives. I’m beyond proud of them and who they will be in the future. Sure it hurts to imagine doing this whole “college” thing without them, but I’d rather them better their lives than failing a year of school just so they can play FIFA with me. Embrace the future and what it holds in store, kiddo.
Life After Death
So your friends graduated, you decide to take 18 credit hours and you feel alone. What now? Well, remember how you met your graduated friends? Do that! Go out into the world and allow new dudes and dudettes to take on the new role of “super awesome new friend that couldn’t possibly replace my old friends but lets give it a shot anyway!” (Note: find more concise codename for new friends).
From the stock boy at the grocery store, to your very short chemistry T.A., nobody will be safe from your friendly nature. They may not measure up, but at least you won’t be found sitting alone in your apartment while trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. By the way it takes 362…not that I would know.
Enjoy the Peace
The silver lining to this dull tale makes things ever so slightly better: the peace and quiet that will enter your life. As you and I already know, college happens to be this endless hustle and bustle of gross vodka shots and late night tinder swipes while eating a taco in the shower. Any moment of silence can be seen a blessing, allowing us to catch up on work we put off or more importantly: sleep.
Imagine a world where you can get a beer, come home and write that paper, and go to sleep at a reasonable time. This can all be yours during your senior year. I know you’d much rather be eating 200 chicken nuggets with your squad, but finish your college career on a strong note, and have fun along the way. I yearn for the good times when we aimlessly walked around our college town with nowhere to go, but getting eight hours of sleep a night sounds remarkable. Soon enough you’ll graduate, joining your friends in the “great beyond,” otherwise known as the world of adulting.
