We can all agree that other than the overdone “My WiFi went out” line, it’s way harder to get out of Zoom class. With most of us already home, how do we make this believable? Look no further.
Check out this professor-proof list of excuses impossible to argue with.
1. Fake freeze
You’ve all seen the TikToks of people purposefully breaking up their sentences when they talk to appear like they are experiencing technical difficulties. Some of them look really believable. You could even take it a few steps further and pre-copy a message to paste in the chat, explaining your “problem.” Just make sure your freeze is believable and noticed so you can slyly leave.
2. *cough, cough* I’m sick
Saying that you came down with something and can’t go to class: solid excuse. It may even be better to use that one now. Instead of being required to provide a doctor’s note, you can say that you didn’t want to risk going to the doctor. Who wants to go to a potential COVID hotspot when your immune system is already likely compromised? Not to mention sickness can make sleeping nearly impossible.
“You were sick the night before and took pills and [slept through your alarm clock],” University of Central Florida freshman Celenia Lum said.
Maybe leave out the part about the pills, but the excuse within itself still works well.
3. Better things to do
With so many students off campus, scheduling conflicts are bound to happen. You could say you’re hosting a club meeting or need to go to an appointment you could not reschedule. You could even snap quick pics of you in another Zoom meeting or in a plaza in case your iron-clad excuse is questioned. Honestly, as long as you don’t use this one more than twice for the same class, it should work.
4. Work, work, work, work, work, work
Again, a lot of students don’t live on campus, in their college towns anymore. Some may need additional income or a way to get out of the house. As long as this excuse isn’t used excessively, students can definitely debate this excuse with their instructors. So, get that coin while working to make that bigger coin.
5. The traffic was so bad, man
Yes, you can still use this excuse when your classes are totally online. Zoom and Canvas/Blackboard both have high traffic times depending on your area and school. Find out when those are for you and if you have any classes that overlap with their time. You could ask friends when their classes are and how the system works. This definitely is a much better way of saying your internet went out or is lagging so you can’t log in. Now you have the power of logic (and anime) on your side.
6. Work is being done
This next one takes some preparation, but once you secure the evidence, it’s almost foolproof. Claiming that your Wifi is out when people are actually at your house fixing it is really hard to deny and is a totally respectable excuse.
“I’ve had to skip classes twice now because of my Wifi going out and having Comcast come out to fix it. My professor didn’t even believe me the second time, so I had to send him a picture of the guy working,” Broward College sophomore Salma Campos said.
Takeaways: claim having your Wifi fixed in the moment and snap pics of people working in your house when they do to save for later.
7. Not required
Some lucky students take classes where lectures aren’t required. Some of those professors even post their recorded lectures on their Canvas or Blackboard page *insert shocked face emoji*. In this case, you wouldn’t need an excuse to use on your professor, but you can definitely talk yourself into doing more outside of classes when you include an open block of time in your day.
8. The ultimate classic
“I’m so sorry I missed class today, my WiFi went out…” Yeah, it still works. However, this excuse can definitely be jazzed up a little bit to make it even more believable. Explain that your town was blacked out (which seems to be happening more lately) or saying that a lot of people in your home are working on the WiFi. There are pretty solid excuses that don’t require receipts.
“I have three siblings at school at home right now, plus my mom some days. Our Wifi just can’t handle it all and one or more of us gets cut,” Lynn University freshman Alonso Moralas said.
Explaining that you have a situation like Moralas’ makes perfect sense.
9. Okay everything was perfect UNTIL…
We all know that Zoom doesn’t work as well on our phones, right? Right. So, our only choices would be our laptops. You can get out of this one by explaining that you did not have your laptop charger and your device died. It’s definitely one of the more of a far-fetched excuses on this list, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
10. The dog ate my homework
This is a classic excuse modified for modern times *chef’s kiss*. It’s cute and straightforward, while still somewhat owning up to missing your Zoom class. A little humor never hurt anyone, either. This excuse also opens a wonderful opportunity to send pictures of your dogs, which will hopefully make the excuse much more pleasant.
11. I was there the whole time
Some days you’re able to attend the lecture but just don’t want to—totally understandable. If you don’t want to use any of the excuses on this list, but still want to skip class, fear not. What you’re going to do is record about a two-minute video of yourself seemingly in the Zoom class. Make some subtle movements, nod along a few times and act like you are engaged in the lecture. Now, upload this video to Zoom as a background, which will work as a loop. Turn your microphone off and make sure you are not required to actually be engaged in the lecture. Now you get points for participation and get to sleep in a few extra minutes.
12. It’s all relative
Let’s get honest here… how applicable is the material we are learning to the future? The rules always change and the textbooks keep updating. Keep this argument in mind when deciding whether or not to log into class.
“Three-hundred years from now it won’t even matter,” University of Florida freshman Ryan Rodrigues said.
Whether you’re defending your choices to yourself or trying to debate relativity to your prof, do your research and may the force be with you.
13. Testing… attention please
If there was ever a fool-proof way to get out of class lately, say that you can’t go to class today because you’re scheduled to get a COVID-19 test. Honestly, this one should just be a free pass to miss anything but it especially works to get out of class. If you live on campus where COVID is rampant, this explanation is really hard to argue with.
14. Perfect storm
This next excuse works best for those later classes; the ones you don’t want to go to because you’ve been in class all day. A few hours on the laptop, several days in a row, takes a physical toll on our bodies. Our eyes get dry and we can get migraines. Houston, we have a solution. Email your professor or TA before class explaining how you can’t look at a computer screen any longer, as it makes your dreadful migraine worse.
“I don’t know about anyone else but when I’m on the computer all day, my head starts to hurt. I’ve asked a few of my professors if it would be okay if I skipped their call and they’re usually understanding,” Palm Beach State College junior Ross Oliver said.
Bonus points if you have a history of headaches that get exacerbated.
15. Doubling up
Canvas or Blackboard are your best friends when trying to skip class. If discussions are a part of your class, then two minutes into the class ask if anyone else is having problems with the link or getting into the meeting. Make sure to screenshot this too, to use as a tool for later. You could even take it a step further, team up with a friend who also wants to ditch and convince them to respond saying that they can’t either.
