Boss ass bitch (noun)–a woman that takes no sh-t, but does take names. A woman who rocks the runway, the competition, the conference room, the hallway or wherever she struts with her head held high. So maybe we don’t all wake up *flawless* like Beyoncé, or have the courage to sit through a debate with Trump like Hillary. We love to admire these incredible ladies from afar, but getting beaten down by pressure from the media, finals and adulting to kick ass while looking kickass makes us want to surrender to “entry-level ass bitch.” If you’re aching to act like a queen, but need help learning how, read on, lovely lady.
Follow these 10 tips to learn how to be a boss ass bitch on the daily.
1. Embody Your Idols
Pick an inspiring person. A celebrity, a family member, a friend, a professor: any inspiring person will do. What specifically makes them a boss ass bitch? The best way to become someone people will admire is to emulate the people you admire. Maybe you love the way your best friend is confident with or without makeup, or how Miley is incredibly open with her sexuality. Choose a trait that your idol has and try to incorporate it into your everyday life as much as you can.
“My boss ass bitch idol is Jaclyn Hill, a beauty YouTuber,” Drake University sophomore Mia Tirado said. “Jaclyn inspires me because she started her YouTube career on nothing, she could barely even afford food to eat every day. Eventually her passion and love for makeup brought her up to being one of the top beauty YouTubers on the site to date. She taught me to stay positive, to keep hoping and to keep pursuing my dreams no matter what shit goes down in my life.” Using idols for inspiration like this, you’ll feel empowered to follow in their footsteps, and you’ll definitely make them proud.
2. Dress to Impress
You can’t possibly expect to live up to your potential if you don’t feel your best. This doesn’t mean you need to be rocking red-carpet looks 24/7. It could just be that pair of leggings that makes your butt look fuego, or a touch of mascara that makes all the difference in your self-confidence for the day. “I wear my pink polka dot business dress when I want to feel like a strong, independent woman. I feel like I can take on the world, especially with my matching cute shoes,” University of Iowa sophomore Payton Long said. Waking up an extra 15 minutes early to get ready takes dedication to the boss ass bitch lifestyle, but feeling your best appearance-wise can make you feel your best in other ways, too.
3. Pull Some Power Poses
If you haven’t seen social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk about the benefits of power poses, do it ASAP. The technique involves standing in a confident manner (a la superheroes), and has been proven to legitimately boost self-confidence. “Standing tall and keeping your head up makes you feel like a boss bitch because it provides you with confidence that nothing is going to stop you and you’re bigger than any obstacle,” University of Iowa freshman Emma Scintu said. So during that extra 15 minutes you’ve incorporated into your morning to get ready, don’t forget to pull some boss ass bitch poses in the mirror. You may feel like an idiot in the moment, but after the fact, you’ll feel ready to save the world.
4. Set Small Goals
Setting big goals is great, but the best way to accomplish them is to break them into smaller steps. “As a woman in the military, most of my goals surround taking care of myself. So drinking plenty of water and working out at least three to four times a week keeps me motivated,” University of Iowa junior Caitlyn Kinley said. “Small goals of doing more push-ups or running further than last time always make me feel like a boss ass bitch because I know it’s helping me better myself physically which only enhances my performance when I’m on duty.”
Rock anything from military life to college life by setting small goals like these to promote yourself to boss. You want to boost your GPA? Dedicate a half an hour every night to just reviewing notes for classes. You want to be bolder with boys? Challenge yourself to say hi to the hottie from history next time you run into him at the dining hall. Little pieces of progress each day will help you achieve your ultimate dream: a more confident you.
5. Fake It Till Ya Make It
Never doubt the power of your own imagination. By simply pretending you’ve been there, done that, you’ll start to feel like you really have. “Faking it until you make it helps get you through the difficult times,” Drexel University sophomore Alli Cardamone said. “And it helps you realize that you can keep going through it.” The best part of trying new things is that no one else knows that it’s entirely new to you.
You can walk into Greek life pretending like you’ve successfully candidly laughed in a hundred photoshoots, planned thousands of school-wide philanthropy events raising millions of dollars, and spoke the Greek alphabet in your sleep since kindergarten. You can strut into your new internship like you descended from the Olympic god of coffee-fetching and phone-answering. Even if you successfully avoided public speaking by hiding in the nurse’s office all through high school, fronting the same confidence and poise as Clinton’s concession speech makes you look like like a pro. You may sweat enough to slide you down the lecture aisles, but your boss ass bitch aura will shine more than your perspiration.
6. Think Best Case Scenario
Picturing the Emerald City gets your ruby slippers going in the right direction down the yellow brick road. Dorothy didn’t picture apple-throwing trees, flying monkeys and witches and give up; she pictured getting home to Kansas and got moving, off to see the wizard. Shake off any doubts or social anxiety about being your best self by imagining a world where everything goes right.
“Thinking about the best case scenario in life brings out confidence. Confidence makes you a boss ass bitch,” University of Iowa freshman Cassie Buchholz said. “Plus, being positive brings good energy and draws a crowd around you. Boss ass bitches have their peeps.” Whether you’re nervous about submitting your resume for a big internship or just Snapchatting a potential BF, forget about the rejection email and being left on opened. Picture instead the whopping-big paycheck and the flirty two-person Bitmoji response. If you feel extra-confident, picture becoming the actual boss ass bitch of the company or a Facebook or Instagram bio official relationship.
7. Think Worst Case Scenario
Postive Polly, meet Negative Nancy. Fortunately, both these ladies can call herself a boss ass bitch. In case your “best-case scenario” thinking doesn’t push you to make moves, try the reverse. Picture those monkeys and witches on your way to the Emerald City, but go one step further. Picture that witch-melting bucket of water–you’ll have something in your boss ass bitch repertoire to handle whatever goes wrong. Obstacles activate flight or fight response; a boss ass bitch laces up and fights through the course a la American Gladiator.
If you can keep your running shoes and boxing gloves put away because nothing did go wrong, you will have still surpassed your expectations of yourself. “Thinking the worst case scenario, for me, prepares me to put my expectations low and when it (naturally) comes out better than expected I feel like a boss ass bitch,” University of Iowa freshman Stephanie Liptak said.
8. Find Your Mantra
If you’re planning on becoming a mega-success, you’re going to need a few words to live by first. There could be one quote that you feel sums up your entire existence, but if not, don’t fret. “I actually try to have a new quote every week in regards to self-confidence because I think quotes, especially from someone I admire, are very inspiring,” Temple University sophomore Mary Kate Foley said. “When I find myself getting down, I just say my quote of the week.” If on Monday, your motto is “Hakuna Matata,” but on Tuesday, you’re feeling more of a “Have no mercy” kind of day, that’s 100 percent acceptable. The important part is deciding what mindset you’re attacking your day with, and then going at it with all you got.
9. Remember That You’re Human
Some days you kill it and other days kill you: C’est la vie. The best part about bad days though? After 24 hours, you get another chance to be your best. University of Maryland sophomore Amber Chabus always gives herself a personal pep talk after rough days. “I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day with new experiences and new moments to live through. I may be feeling bad right now, but that feeling will not last forever,” Chabus said. A true boss ass bitch doesn’t have to be perfect at everything, she just has to snap back and clap back every time something knocks her down.
10. Put Yourself First
You can’t possibly learn to worship yourself if you don’t know you better than anyone else. Don’t be afraid to cheat on bae by taking yourself on a date when you need it. Taste-test that new Starbucks drink you’ve been dying to try, or grab some late night dessert just to treat yourself. The FOMO might be real if you miss out on a girls’ night to stay in and watch a movie, but you-time is just not something that can be missed. “Even just writing down what happened in my day and allowing myself to truly go through and pick through the things that happened to me is very beneficial for my attitude towards myself and others,” Foley said. Learn what the best ways are for you to self-reflect and pamper yourself, and your self-esteem will feel the benefits, too.
*Updated by Marin McCall on May 4, 2017 to include a revamped intro plus student quotes in the paras.
