To myself,
Five years ago, you graduated from the University of Florida. And girl, you took a risk. A big risk. On a leap of faith, you decided to follow your dreams and work in television. Take a breath. Look down at your two feet—cute shoes! Where are you right now? Look around you. If people surround you, walk away for a few minutes; we need this one-on-one.
Ten years ago, you laid in the back of Dad’s old Ford pickup truck. Parked in the front yard, you gazed at the stars. You pondered what your future would look like, without a plan or an idea. All you knew or had was a dream of working in television. Where did this dream come from? Not once in your entire life did you want to do anything else. What exactly would you do, who knows? As you write this letter, you still don’t know.
But like many things in life, you follow the wind. I think we watched too much Pocahontas. But we tend to forget that we never had a plan, just determination and a dream. Your entire life was this way. For example, college: Did you know that you wanted to go? No, but somehow we ended up at University of Florida. In life, you never know what will come next. I guess that’s why you never had a plan. Instead, you studied and worked on your skills. Hopefully, this worked for you.
Remember when you lived with those demons from hell? You always heard horrible roommates stories from people around you. But you never thought it would happen to you. You put yourself out into the world. What did you get you? You were used, abused and bullied. When it came time to speak up, you silenced you own voice. After this awful experience, you vowed to yourself to always put yourself first and to speak up when things rub you the wrong way.
Don’t let anyone walk over you or disrespect you. Nice people like you hate confrontations. But remember that roommate experience and feed off it. Those trials prepared you on how to deal with people you don’t necessarily like but need to live with daily. The “l” in life stand for lessons. These lessons won’t stop. Instead of doubting yourself or sulking, embrace every experience as a lesson or a stepping goal to self-actualization and success.
When you wrote this letter you felt super stressed. But like today you still have an idea of what you want. Funny, people assume that because you don’t have an exact plan, you don’t know what you want. The “f” in life stands for freedom. Since you were little, your goal was to follow your dreams and make yourself and everyone proud. Knowing you, your dreams change constantly. However, one dream remains the same, happiness.
As you read this, if you find yourself second guessing yourself or wanting more: STOP! What are you doing? Go out and get what belongs to you. This could mean anything. If you want that new Gucci bag, go get it. If a vacation calls your name, click on bookit.com. For years, you suppressed what you wanted. I hope you stopped doing that years ago. If not, stop today.
Do you feel content in life? Balancing the areas of your life come with patience and hard work. Don’t forget to grow your savings account, eat healthy and pray. Most importantly, don’t forget to focus on your relationships.
Avlene probably still gets on your nerves. Remember, don’t hang up on her call when she screams and yells. Let her vent. She’s you sister and she loves you. Make sure to visit, call and love on your family as much as you can. Things come and go, but your family’s love remain constant throughout your life.
Remember when you told mom and dad that you want to major in television and minor in theater? Some people can’t even utter those words out loud. But mom and dad never judged you. They believed in you and wanted you to follow your dreams. “Just don’t come back home broke and jobless,” they said. If everything worked out then you didn’t go back home broke and jobless.
Pay attention to your true friends. True friends don’t give off a bad aura. They don’t rub you the wrong way. They communicate and accept you for you. They love you. Let go of the feeling to belong. The people that are meant to be in your life long term, if not forever, will remain in your life. You like to stay home cuddle up in bed watching Netflix. But make sure to hang out with them and get your girl time.
Your life has been interesting, crazy, entertaining, dull, unexpected, expected—a lesson in opposition. Instead of letting the media and statistics define you, you defined yourself. You graduating high school with your IB diploma. Also, as you write this letter, you’ll soon graduate UF with honors as a first-generation student. Remember, that with each lesson you get closer to the end goal. What is that end goal? I don’t know. Many call life a roller-coaster with things constantly changing. Whatever the plan is or whatever the dream is never forget and continue to strive forward. But I know you won’t stay down.
Despite all the setbacks and frustration, you manage to look good every day. Kudos to you. As you continue to get older, you’ll continue to learn. Despite the frustration, you’re on your way to making all your dreams come true. Now go on that Hawaii vacation. You earned it. Now close your eyes and take a long deep breath. Do that thing when you look at the sky and smile. You got this, never forget.
Stay beautiful,
Anede
