I am always grateful when I reminisce on the time to adapt to my new abroad life since 2022. It was a tough start because I needed to spend time studying, combatting homesickness and learning about different cultures. But I overcame it and broadened my network at Penn State. The best way to start your new chapter in a new city is to make friends, but it takes work.
To make friends in a new city, you must prepare to talk.
1. Join student clubs
This is the best and most straightforward way to make friends in an unfamiliar city since student club members are more relaxed to chat. Last semester, I joined my university’s student-run newspaper, The Daily Collegian, and got in touch with many local students. The club organized bonding activities like connecting candidate buddies, personal presentations and Kahoot to learn about AP Style writing and sharing ice cream. Today, half of my network at Penn State comes from The Collegian, and I became more outgoing. So don’t hesitate; student clubs are great platforms to make friends.
2. Being proactive
Student clubs provide a platform to make new friends, but you must be proactive. Your new student friends are happy to chat because there is no generation gap or “formal speaking” scenarios. It is a way to “sell” yourself and let people get to know you. Try to talk with people when you go somewhere new. Conversations narrow your psychological gap with others.
“If I’m at the library studying, I’ll try to see if someone else is studying,” Penn State freshman agricultural sciences major Allison Weaver said. “Or if I’m at a specific club here at Penn State, I’ll try to interact with all the other people who might be doing that as well.”
After joining the Collegian this year, I always introduce myself first and exchange life stories when talking with others. It is an opportunity to get to know others. My Collegian reporter friend Jenna is energetic and proactive and a great example of this. She sent me a greeting message after I joined the Collegian. We hang out, get food and help cover news events when one of us is busy.
3. Regular Community involvement
It is easy to find community involvement opportunities. You can attend worship, become a community volunteer or attend blood-drive activities. Connecting to the community provides you with opportunities to know people with different backgrounds. You may see a car mechanic, a teacher or a student you haven’t met before in the congregation when you attend worship, or you can make a retired professor your friend when volunteering. These social networks help your future development because you have friends in different fields. However, you must regularly connect to your community to consolidate the relationship.
4. Snowballing from your roommates
Don’t be shy. Your current roommates are your window to broaden your network. Always ask your roommates to connect with people. They could be the people you spend the most time with; when you have questions, talk with them. But to keep a good relationship, don’t be shy to set up some quiet time and weekly cleaning rules. It helps you contact them more frequently and respect one another.
“It’s easier to be introduced by someone than just going up and randomly saying hi to someone,” Penn State senior Stuart Vas said.
If you and your roommates like sports, go out and do sports exercises together. Let your roommates bring you out for social events, and you will connect with people. It is a valuable opportunity to learn from your roommates. You can use your passion and enthusiasm to impact yourself and your roommates. Never let your resources run away.
5. Get a job
When studying in a different city, you need to spend money on tuition, housing and food. Getting a job reduces financial stress and provides a platform for meeting new colleagues. When I got my job on campus this year, my boss led me to different department offices to introduce me to my colleagues. I was nervous at first, but I felt their enthusiasm and soon after fit into my office’s vibe. They are excited to learn more about you.
6. Always ask around
Always ask your current friend if they know someone who can help you. Then, you might know your friend’s friends. If you are an international student, feel free to ask when you need help understanding what others say. Asking others open-ended questions facilitates conversations.
“When it comes to starting a conversation, you can say something instead of saying something generic like, hi, hello,” Penn State senior Mahika Prasad said. “You can just spark up an interesting question, or something a compliment, or something that takes them by surprise. That’s what sparks genuine conversation and genuine connections.”
People will be happy when you honor their values, and they will be glad to talk with you. If you have questions about your studies, talk with your professors and classmates. If you have questions about cars, ask your friends and see if they can connect you to someone who can help you. One of my car’s tires went flat recently; as a non-local student, I needed to figure out where to go and which car service office is reliable. One of my friends connected me to a car mechanic and he was glad to see my car fixed with his help.
7. Do group work
Making friends in a class is difficult as your classmates want to focus on their “student role,” doing group projects would broaden your network. When your professors assign group projects, start communicating. Studying in universities needs mutual brainstorming, so always share opinions with your groupmates and build a two-way bridge. Extend your friendship with your classmates. After classes, go out for a cup of coffee or a meal.
“When you sit with someone every day, make small talk. Eventually, you will make at least a surface friendship, but that can go deep,” Penn State senior Abdulelah AlAhmed said.
It is the time to chat with your teammates and share your experiences. But most importantly, you must be team-oriented and contribute to your group. No one likes to work with a free rider. To start the topic, combine questions like “What do you think” with your thoughts. When you have different opinions, please appreciate their contributions beforehand and show your arguments.
8. Be generous
Nobody objects to a generous person, but please introduce yourself first. Treating everyone with kindness makes you become a welcome person. You can invite your classmates or student club friends to your house for lunch, hiking or hanging out at an ice cream shop. Be enthusiastic and always prepared to help, and you will be set.
9. Be put-together
Don’t forget to be well-dressed. You must follow the unwritten social etiquette codes when going out. So, clean your room before you go out, as your friends would like to talk to a decent person. When hanging out with others, be gentle. You don’t want people to stay away from you when look slovenly.
10. Get connected to your neighbors
It could be embarrassing but helpful. Living in a new city is challenging, but your neighbors are always your social resources. Be brave, introduce yourself and talk with your neighbors when you meet them. My roommates’ calico cat always wants to explore the world; one day, she went to my neighbor’s bedroom. Fortunately, we got her back after connecting to neighbors. Keep talking with your neighbors, and they are willing to help you.
College life is not only studying but connecting to people and enjoying the new city. Whenever the Penn State football team has home games at weekends, students dress in navy blue or white and make it a big party. Students hold picnics on the lawn before the match and cheer in the stadium later. So, go to places where students like and meet people; you will build up your network.
