We all know a friend or two who has survived a clingy relationship. In fact, we also may know a few who are in them now. Some of us may not know or understand why people put up with their needy lovers, but we do know what these stage five clingers act like.
These Clingy Habits Will Sink Your Relationship Faster Than You Can Swipe Left.
1. You don’t let him/her spend quality time with friends
Nothing sucks worse than a partner who doesn’t let you to have alone time with your friends. To build a positive intimate relationship, sometimes we need time to chill alone (i.e. with every season of Parks and Recreation and a tub of ice cream) or a boys/girls night out. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all. “I had a girl who I like thought [I] was gonna marry, so it didn’t strike me as a problem during the relationship but she wouldn’t let me go to the after parties of shows that I was involved with,” said American University senior Patrick Kavanaugh. Yikes, am I right? “Then, when she broke up with me, I realized that I had become super isolated because I hadn’t been allowed to hang out with anyone but her. It made getting over the breakup a lot harder for me.”
2. You text them 24/7
We all love our phones, but being on them constantly can get exhausting. No one needs to know how many times you wash your hands or check your email. “I think being in constant communication can be risky because it doesn’t give either partner a chance to ‘breathe.’ When you’re in constant communication, it’s expected that you’ll really merge your lives and be a part of every minute of it. If the couple breaks up (or even if they don’t) this creates a really unhealthy dependence on one another,” said AU junior Jessica Phillips. If your boy or girl sends you pages of love letters everyday, you may have a stage five clinger on your hands.
3. You stalk their social media
In the social media age, not scrolling through your hook up’s pics seems hard. However, there is a fine line between looking at high school prom pics and actually stalking him. If you’re asking questions about people from their braces phase, you may be coming off as too aggressive. In fact, it’ll probably turn your SO off. “I find it so unattractive when my ex boyfriend stalks me on social media because it shows that he still wants people to think that we are still together by commenting on and liking all of my posts on social media. I also think that many boys don’t understand that that is an unattractive quality when you’re still in the relationship,” said AU senior Quincey Tickner. Trust me—no one wants that.
4. You show up uninvited to places
Running into your partner on campus is always fun, but you’re taking it to the next level when you crash his favorite frat case race night unexpectedly. Once again, everyone needs their space in order to make a healthy relationship work. No matter how much you love your dog, you wouldn’t bring him everywhere, right? The “I bet you didn’t expect me to show up” approach is not as cute a gesture as you may think in the moment. Most people just don’t like a random surprise show up from bae when they anticipate just chilling with their friends. Of course, exceptions exist, such as surprising him during his late night shift. But if your partner tells you she’s hanging out with friends and you’re not given an invite, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t go.
5. You don’t give him alone time at parties or during a night out
Nothing feels more uncomfortable than having someone follow you around a party like a lost dog. “My ex would follow me around when we were out together or text my friends asking them to send pictures of me out when he wasn’t there. It was awful and I felt like I couldn’t have fun because I had to deal with entertaining him instead of spending time doing things i actually liked,” said AU junior Meredith Seiberlich. It’s okay to follow your BF or GF on Instagram, but maybe not as cool to follow them around everywhere. Let her enjoy her night, and tomorrow you can spend all day recapping your crazy stories together.
6. You don’t allow them to have any friends
Sometimes our partners have friends of the opposite sex that you might want to keep a watchful eye on. However, this doesn’t mean that your partner can’t have any friends. Stop acting suspicious of everyone. A lack of trust can create many issues, such as your BF stalking your every Snapchat move and looking at the action in each of your stories. Everyone has better things to do than analyzing Snap stories of all things. No one enjoys feeling like they’re items being fought over, so in everyone’s best interest, allow your partner to stay friends with whomever she wants.
7. You crave attention from them all day, every day
If you constantly throw a fit when your partner looks away from you to scroll through memes, you may be showing stage five clinger symptoms. Constantly having to entertain someone becomes annoying. No one holds the job of giving someone else attention all day long. Yes, it is normal to listen to them, but there’s a difference between being affectionate and downright annoying. It’s cute to have a little snuggle sesh once in a while, but if you’re demanding a kiss every five seconds, you may have an issue. You will realize your partner has other commitments and cannot spend every day gazing into your eyes.
8. You interrogate them about their lives on social media
Liking Kim Kardashian’s latest bikini or Adam Levine’s shirtless pic provides no reason to freak out. The amount of relationships that go wrong because of social media is high. Unless they are doing something hurtful to you like pointing out how hot the new girls in your sorority are, most likely they are expressing normal human behavior which shouldn’t be controlled. No one wants that partner who watches their every move on social media.
9. You have lost interest in things that don’t relate to your partner
If you start distancing yourself from your old passions to spend time with your new gal or guy, you may need to step back. It’s perfectly normal to change up your daily schedule when you’re in a new relationship, but you need to find a healthy balance. “I have a friend that doesn’t hang out with anyone but her boyfriend. They do everything together and she doesn’t talk to me or really any other girls anymore because she’s always with him. Basically she doesn’t hang out with girls anymore, something she used to value,” said Gettysburg College senior Mary Cecio. Bottom line? You should never lose sight of who you are and cling onto your partner’s way of living, daily schedule or their passions in order to create a new identity for yourself.
10. You need constant reassurance of love and affection
Constantly asking for love may not serve as the best way to get it. Usually, actions speak louder than words. Your partner should appreciate your presence when you spend time alone. You don’t constantly need to ask “do you like me?” If he didn’t, he probably wouldn’t willingly bring you your favorite hot wings after a brutal day at your internship. Just because your man or gal may not say they love you all the time, they may show it in different gestures. That’s what hugs or gifts were invented for, after all. You’ll surely come off too clingy by constantly demanding love.
