Whether you’re waiting to see what Introductory American Lit has in store, or you’re a seasoned English major, check out 10 people you can find lugging around the complete Sherlock Holmes anthology.
1. The Bookclubber
She’s likely a non-English major, but avid book lover, who mistakenly believes your contemporary lit class is just a book club for credit. While you have to admire her enthusiasm, her comments don’t tend to add much to the class. We get it…Hamlet was a total babe.
2. The Literary Activist
This person is EXTREMELY passionate about a certain issue and will somehow relate every book back to her movement. Her comments are often long-winded and might make you wonder whether you bought the wrong version of Portrait of a Lady, because you definitely missed all those environmentalist undertones.
3. The Critic
The Critic is a die-hard English major and won’t let you forget it. She’s probably specializing in medieval poetry and only reads authors you didn’t know exist. You have to wonder how she ended up in this class, since she thinks she’s more qualified than the prof and never seems to enjoy any aspect of what’s being discussed.
4. The Interpretive Mumbler
She always has something to say, and that something is probably insightful and thought-provoking… but you’d never really know because you just can’t hear her. Often followed up with the classic prof reply “Could you repeat that for the back of the class?” to which she softly replies, “Oh, never mind.”
5. The Toe-Chewing Commentator
Let’s be honest, every discussion-based class has that guy who is perpetually seconds away from shoving his foot in his mouth, but never says anything quite offensive enough to cause an uproar. At the very least, he keeps you on the edge of your seat every time his hand goes up.
6. The Observant Bookworm
You likely haven’t really noticed him despite the fact he’s been present every class. This is the mysterious stranger you exchange eye-rolls with during comments from any of the above, but you have no idea what his name is because he’s raised his hand maybe once the entire semester.
7. The English Major
I know what you’re thinking. The majority of your class is probably English majors. Heck, you might be an English major. But I’m talking about the guy in the back of the room who smells like cigarettes and pine needles and scribbles free-verse poetry in a Moleskine. Unlike the critic, you actually feel compelled to agree with his well-stated points, and you envy his perfect balance of apathy and expertise.
8. The Crush
This is the person who mentioned that excerpt from Jane Eyre you had triple-underlined (which is clearly a sign from the literary love gods) and somehow makes you swoon while talking about Moby Dick. You spend lulls in discussion planning your wedding and naming your future children…cough cough, Ernest and Sylvia.
9. The Mentee
The Mentee tries to score bonus participation points (if that’s even a thing) by saying whatever she thinks the prof will agree with most. You are never left hanging with questions about a writing assignment because she asks questions about every sentence of the prompt. This is the person who gets cut off with “See me during office hours.”
10. The “Clearly Didn’t Do the Reading”
This person is one of the easiest to peg, as he can be found two minutes before class leaning toward his nearest peer and saying, “I DEFINITELY didn’t do the reading last night.” It’s likely he’s a science/math major trying to fulfill a humanities requirement and may also be seen using his Shakespeare anthology as a makeshift footrest.
