The Truths and Myths of Attraction

In the quest to win over your dream guy or girl, what do you do to make yourself appear more attractive? Do you dress differently? Do you spend hours at the gym trying to sculpt a desirable bod? Do you hold yourself back from acting “weird” in front of that person?

The unspoken rules of attraction dictate so much of what we do, whether we like it or not. From the way we dress, to the way we do our hair and make-up, to our diet, and even our manner of speaking – our self-presentation is highly influenced by what society has deemed attractive. It seems that ever since we hit puberty, TV shows, movies, magazines, and even our friends and family have been telling us what we need to do to appear “hot” to others.

But what if those rules are meant to be broken? What if all the things we’ve been doing since puberty to make ourselves appear attractive, have actually had the opposite effect? Turns out, for many college students, what draws them to a person is not what you would expect.

Grace Eire from Skidmore College said she’s attracted to guys who are “tall, skinny, and pale” – a far cry from the buff men we see on the cover of GQ. “But,” she continues, “I also really like when someone is funny or able to go back and forth with stupid jokes.”

Grace Elire isn’t the only person who loves a guy who can crack a joke. Julia Delorenzo, a senior at Boston College, said, “There’s nothing more charming than self-deprecating humor.” Delorenzo also admitted that it’s better to be funny and awkward than trying to come off as cool – and she’s had experience with the latter.

“This guy in one of my classes always hits on me and thinks he’s really smooth,” said Julia. “He tries too hard for the whole ‘bad boy’ thing. Putting up a front is never attractive. Being nervous and awkward is fine as long as you take it in stride and embrace it – it goes back to the whole self-deprecating thing.”

As it turns out, guys are just as repulsed by false fronts as girls are. Dave Campbell, a junior at Texas A&M University, said that he’s attracted to women who are “aren’t fake or stuck up. They have to be down to earth, intelligent – not naïve, and have their own sense of style. Most importantly,” said Campbell, “I’m attracted to someone who is funny and at least somewhat sentimental.”

Intelligence and an easy-going attitude are common traits when it comes to what guys consider attractive. Andrew Wade from UCLA says, “I’m attracted to girls who can have an intelligent conversation and are also witty and don’t take themselves too seriously.” Notice he doesn’t mention double D’s or perfect gym bodies.

Turns out, you don’t have to pretend to be perfect in order to appear attractive. In fact, most college students prefer the opposite. “Not everyone is the same,” Dave says, “so they shouldn’t all try to look or act the same.” Yup, it’s that simple.

So next time you consider changing your outfit or holding back a silly joke to impress the guy or girl you’re interested in, think twice. What’s really attractive is someone who is unabashedly them self.

Julia admits there’s one caveat, however.

 “Fake tans are a deal breaker.” Guess that leaves out the guys of Jersey Shore. Sorry, Pauly D.

Photo taken from tabfox.com