Relationships in college can be hard enough, even without long distance. So what happens when you and your significant other attend different colleges — and you’re not happy being apart?
So we ask the infamous question, to transfer, or not to transfer for love? Consider a few things:
Your Happiness
Kenneth J. Paulsen of Education.com said, “If you're truly, sincerely unhappy with a school, consider transferring, but first make sure you are clear about the reasons why you want to leave.”
The first thing you should think about before transferring is if you are content at your current school. Are you actively involved, have a lot of friends and enjoy your time at college? If so, maybe transferring is not such a good idea. However, if you find you’re unable to enjoy yourself and it doesn’t seem to be the right fit for you, then transferring could be a good thing not just for your relationship, but for yourself.
Caitlyn Gatewood, a junior at Albany State University, transferred from Florida State for her boyfriend. She said she couldn’t be happier with the decision: “I was miserable at my school and I really missed my boyfriend. I never would have transferred if I thought that Florida was a better college for me,” she recalled.
The College
Look into the college to which you’re considering transferring. Does the school have the major you want or the activities you like to be involved in? You should not just decide on transferring solely for your boyfriend or girlfriend: a big question you should ask is if you will fit in at the college if your relationship were to end.
“I love it here,” Gatewood added. “Even if we were to break up, I know that I wouldn’t regret transferring … I did a lot of research about the school before I transferred and knew it was right for me.”
For you, or them?
Most importantly, is the decision for your own happiness or your significant other’s? If you’re enjoying your college life and feel uneasy about changing schools, don’t let pressure from a significant other get to you. This type of life change is one that needs to be seriously considered; ask yourself first, would he or she do it for you? Will this alter my friendships, potential for success, and happiness? Sometimes — this case included — it’s alright to be a little selfish.
Transferring schools for love can be great, if it is for the right reasons. Think about it carefully because what college you attend can change your entire future. Make sure you weigh your options and don’t let your relationship be the only reason that you want to transfer — a relationship may end, but no one can take away your education.
