Boston College is known for its Jesuit education, killer athletics, beautiful campus and even more beautiful student body. In short, BC is awesome. As a student, and more importantly, as a human being, you can both grow and excel here. But to become a well-rounded person, you have to do some stupid shit alongside all the great stuff. So here’s a list of 25 things that you will, for sure, regret.
1. Go to one football game sober.
Just kidding.
2. Start tailgating in the Mods in the a.m. End in the p.m.
3. Get on BC Campus story.
Perhaps with a “candid” laughing photo with Baldwin. Perhaps with another crowd-pleaser that is much less appropriate.
4. Steal Baldwin’s identity for a day.
Pretend you can do flips in the air. Fail at doing flips. Grind up on the cheerleaders. Grind up on the fans. Make sure no one feels safe.
5. Get a photo with Fiddle Kid.
6. Be Fiddle Kid.
7. Yell, “Do you even go here?!” to tour guides. Watch them crumble.
8. At a hockey game, put your whole heart and lung capacity into the Sieve chant.
Finish strong with the alma mater.
9. Get published in Stylus.
Trick them into believing your poem is “avant-garde” when it is, in fact, a poem about boners.
10. Inspire one of the Heightsmen to sing “My Girl” to… anybody but you. Because you could not handle that.
I mean, look at them.
11. Fall in love with a member of Sexual Chocolate. Or all of them.
It is easy. You just need to attend one performance in which they shamelessly rip off their shirts and grind the floor. Your grandkids will love that “how I met your mother” story.
12. Order absolutely everything from Late Night. Feast.
13. Try every flavor of Italian soda at Addie’s.
14. Make an appearance on BC make outs’ twitter page.
Your friends will relish the opportunity to hold it over your head for years. And years.
15. Make it one semester with some leftover Chocolate Bar money.
Hahaha, I know. Impossible.
16. Walk up the Million Dollar Stairs without getting out of breath.
Good luck.
17. Run around the Res. Just once.
I’m not asking anyone to be a hero.
18. Have a conversation with a member of the Cleaning crew. Apologize, perhaps.
19. Attend one of Kerry Cronin’s talks on dating and hook-ups in college.
Proceed to ask someone out boldly.
20. Celebrate Marathon Monday right.
One recipe for success: Buy a sweet Marathon Monday bro tank. On the day, rip it off Hulk-style. Proceed to get all the bitches.
21. Become a legend at Mary Ann’s.
Maybe pick the perfect song from the jukebox selection and get the whole crowd dancing. Maybe puke on someone’s shoes. The path to fame is yours.
22. Lick the St. Ignatius statue. On the face.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
23. Jump in the fountain by O’Neill. It’s about four inches so… go crazy.
24. Have sex in O’Neill Library.
According to Yik Yak, the media room is the place to get frisky. Then, take your partner and…
25. Finish in the Gasson Bell Tower.
