At a very young age, many of us faced the question “what do you want to do when you grow up?” Although my answers changed yearly, I remember always answering eagerly. I shared how I wanted to become a marine biologist in Florida. At one point, I planned on moving to California to pursue vlogging on YouTube. Despite my interests always changing, I knew one thing for sure: I couldn’t wait to move out of Wisconsin. However, I remained naïve to the reality of what moving out of my childhood home meant.
Growing up, no one can really prepare you for that first week of college.
My parents taught me everything I needed to know to feel stable on my own and for that I am so grateful. However, no one warned me about the emotions I experienced after I left for college. Unlike the past 18 years of my life, I can’t just walk down the hall to see my parents. Instead, when I need a hug, I resort to Facetime calls. Every single day, my heart aches because I miss my mom and dad. Many people take family time for granted. I know I certainly did. When I was younger, my dad used to work night shifts. On these nights, my brother and I climbed into my parents’ bed, excited to enjoy a sleepover with my mom. We fought over who could sleep in the middle next to her. Looking back, I honestly feel bad for the lack of space I gave my mom.
During her extensive skincare routines, I sat on the bathroom floor and talked away. At events, I found myself too nervous to approach kids my own age. So, I hung out with her instead. Even in high school, when my parents seemed less cool than my friends, my mom remained my favorite person to talk to. Now that I’m in college, I miss these simple times the most.
It didn’t fully hit me until I slept alone the first night in my freshman dorm.
When I closed my eyes to sleep, memories filled my head. I remembered helping my mom cook dinner nearly every night. She always taught me new methods for making meals, but I loved the conversations the most. I laugh thinking about the times she would bat my hand away from a newly shredded pile of cheese.
I struggle to accept the fact that I can’t spend hours on end with my mom and dad like I did in the past. Although it only takes three hours to drive home, college makes it hard to find time. Managing a job, intense schoolwork and a social life makes for a challenge. Yet, whenever I find myself sad about the distance between my family and I, I remember something my mom once said. I can still hear her words like it happened yesterday.
During my senior year of high school, we abruptly moved out of my childhood home. I questioned my mom, saying that when I returned from college it wouldn’t feel right. I only spent three months in that house before moving to Madison, so I feared returning to a foreign place. Without hesitating, my mom told me that a place doesn’t make a home, but rather the people. Her advice, like always, proved true. I didn’t know the importance of that conversation at the time, but I hold it close to my heart today.
Since life never seems to slow down, most of our family time now happens over the phone.
Although I would much rather see my family in person every day, we make the best out of the situation. Plus, I can say that no matter how far apart we live, my parents always make sure I feel loved and supported. Going into my last semester of college, I still miss them just as much as I did when I made the initial transition into my freshman year. Yet, I gained an appreciation for my family that my younger self took for granted. Any second with them, no matter when or where, means the world to me. Despite hundreds of miles separating us, I know that whenever I need my mom or dad, they will be waiting on the other side of the phone.
