My freshman year at Spelman didn’t make the history books.
I didn’t make a lot of memories. In fact, my freshman year at Spelman may have been one of the hardest years of my life. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a well-known member of my school’s student body. People knew me as the girl teachers requested. I made everything I ever tried out for and earned a leadership position in almost every club. I can confidently say high school left me in a great place. I thought college would look even better.
Flashback to December 27th, 2014–the day I found out that I was accepted into Spelman. Being in college felt like a dream come true because for the last three years the idea of Spelman consumed my life. I networked with other prospects, connected to all social media pages and researched every single detail. My hard work showed when I finally received that coveted blue envelope.
When I got to Spelman, I immediately felt very different. I just dealt with the feeling of not measuring up to my peers. Whether it be in looks, fashion or even intelligence, I thought I was inadequate and it showed. I took everything with a grain of salt and closed myself off to a lot of experiences. I didn’t make those necessary friendships, and I let the “perfection” of everyone else overwhelm me. I felt like I didn’t have an identity and fell into a dark hole that made me doubt the very reason I decided to attend Spelman.
All signs pointed towards me transferring to Virginia Commonwealth University; I got as far as the recommendation link for the application. As I prepared myself to leave, I received an email about applying for the Sophomore Class Co-Publicity Chair. I’ve always liked designing and giving information to the public, so I applied on a whim. Weeks went by and I didn’t hear back from anyone, until I received an e-mail saying. “Congratulations you have been selected to interview for the appointed position of treasurer.” If I could insert the upside-down smiley face emoji here, I would. I quickly received another e-mail apologizing for the error saying that it didn’t apply to me. Okay, I thought. This was the nail in the coffin confirming that I needed to close my Spelman chapter. There was nothing for me at this school, and the only time I tried to make a name for myself, I got rejected. VCU, here I come. Two days later, I received another email telling me that I scored an interview for the Co-Publicity position. I went through the interview process, and lucky enough, I landed the position. Getting this position meant I was supposed to stick it out at Spelman for at least one more semester. I owed it to my council and most importantly, to myself.
Now it’s November of my sophomore year. I couldn’t be in a better place. I had to learn to open myself up to new opportunities and allow myself to grow during my freshman year at Spelman. I felt too afraid of change and that, unfortunately, affected my outlook on the entire school.
If you ever feel out of place or out of touch at your school, don’t immediately think of transferring as the only option. Find a community of people who share your interests and immerse yourself within it. Sometimes, you just need to surround yourself with like-minded people to feel at home.
