I think it’s safe to say that every college student has a roommate horror story. Maybe you couldn’t stand it when their side of the room was an absolute mess, or maybe they’ve thrown up everywhere except the trashcan upon returning from a frat party. The possible ways to get annoyed while sharing a room with someone are truly endless.
Whether you were best friends or enemies with your roomie, you’ve thought, “Wow. I wish I had lived alone.”
I knew this moment was bound to happen during my freshman year. I would eventually have to ask someone to turn down their music when I was doing homework. Right? However, I soon found out noise would be the least of my worries. I ended up having to confront my roommates about dating each other behind my back.
I loved my roommates. They were just two random girls I found on Facebook, so I definitely lucked out when we all instantly became friends. But it didn’t take long to start feeling that something was…off. The first thing I noticed was their habit of slyly texting one another when I was also in the room. I couldn’t help but think they were talking badly about me, making my anxiety shoot through the roof. I would come back from class to find them sitting together, so close to the point where their shoulders and legs were touching. They even stopped talking about people in a romantic way, but they were both (allegedly) single, so I naturally had a feeling something weird was going on.
I didn’t want to be a straight girl making assumptions about her not-so-straight roommates.
They are both bisexual, but it didn’t matter to me. But it was a crucial piece of the puzzle in helping support my suspicions. My greatest fear was asking them if they really were more than friends, and them accusing me of being paranoid just because of their sexualities. I wanted them to feel accepted in their environment, so I compromised my own feelings to ensure theirs stayed protected. A relationship like the one I thought they maybe had would only happen in a movie, right? Until one day, we reached the breaking point.
I walked in on them hooking up. I didn’t explicitly see anything, but I knew. Our bathroom door shut at lightning speed when I entered the room, regardless of the fact that I had seen them both naked a countless amount of times. They both emerged a couple of minutes later, having an uneasy look in their eyes. We all chatted as if everything was totally normal, but I had a gut feeling it wasn’t. I left the room to have a moment to think, feeling like I was a detective investigating a murder and I just found the final piece of evidence that proved that the suspect was guilty. Except, I felt no sense of relief. I wasn’t upset by what they were doing behind the bathroom door, but more so because they thought I was oblivious enough to not catch on. Did they think I was stupid? Why was it okay to blatantly hide something this big from their supposed best friend? I genuinely thought they saw me as nothing but an obstacle in their relationship. I was angry, upset, and felt lied to.
I walked back in, took a deep breath, and just popped the question to them.
“Are you guys dating?” Silence. Then finally, a “yes.”
The moment led to a conversation of questions, tears, explanations and discovering I was the only person at our school who knew. Their relationship altered the dynamic of our little group of three, and I was devastated. I understood that they can’t control how they feel, but I was now the ultimate third wheel. I couldn’t avoid the overwhelming feeling of being the odd man out with the people I was closest to. I had to witness them act like a couple in my own living space, and the resentment I began to feel towards them was insanely hard on me. But looking back on it now, I am genuinely glad it happened.
The situation taught me a lot about communicating my feelings with others; a skill I lacked before coming to college. I was pushed to make more friends so I could get out of the room more, which resulted in me joining a sorority and having the option to move into their house and out of the dorms. My roommates always made sure I was okay, and if I ever voiced any concerns, they listened. But I knew it was best for our relationship to not live with them anymore. I still consider them two of my close friends, and I am so lucky to have met them and be their unintentional matchmaker. I honestly hope they get married one day. Let’s be honest–I will have the best story to give at the wedding.
